playing in pegasus

Ba'al walked into the midst of his Earth captives and Jaffa soldiers, all eyes on him as he surveyed his surroundings; the great city of Atlantis.

"Okay, does anyone else see Ba'al walking around, or is it just me?" Jack asked very quietly.

"Oh, that's him alright," Daniel said flatly.

"Oh my god. I think he's gotten highlights," Sam said, squinting for a better look.

Jack glared at her and shook his head.

"Ba'al is most vain," Teal'c said, the distaste in his voice apparent.

"They look pretty good," Daniel said with a nod. "Do you think they have Goa'uld hairdressers for that kind of thing?"

Jack's glare moved to Daniel.

"What?" Daniel asked.

"Daniel?" Jack said. "Kree."

"Oh no," Sam hissed, grabbing Jack's arm.

"What?" Jack asked, not prepared for whatever new hell his second in command was about to point out.

"Sir, Ba'al's headed for SG-15."

Jack closed his eyes and sighed. "Crap."

Dave and Martouf stood side by side, Rodney and John behind them, as they watched Ba'al approach.

Ba'al stopped in front of Dixon. "I am glad we meet again, Dixon."

Dave held up a hand. "How's it going? That a new dress? My wife's got one just like it."

Ba'al seemed amused rather than insulted. "I have not forgotten how you destroyed a fleet of my ships."

Dave nodded and began to laugh. "Oh, man. That was something." He turned to look at Rodney and John. "You guys shoulda been there. Talk about fireworks."

Rodney gave an irritated huff of breath and glared. "We were there, you great big lunatic." Rodney turned to John. "He is totally going to get us killed."

Dixon frowned. "Oh yeah. That was you screaming like a girl?"

"Oh, shut up," Rodney said childishly.

"It was a pretty girly scream, Rodney," John said with a nod.

"Well, that's not what you said when we-"

"Hey, shut up!" John snapped.

Ba'al, Martouf and Dixon gave John and Rodney matching scowls before Ba'al moved to Martouf.

"Martouf. How are you and Lantesh?" he asked, his voice soft.

Martouf looked annoyed as he evaded Ba'al's eyes. "We are both fine."

Ba'al gave a strange smile. "I sense you are still upset."

Martouf turned his annoyed look on Ba'al. "No, we are not."

"Is that why Lantesh is quiet?"

Martouf rolled his eyes. "He is quiet because what he wishes to say to you will probably get us all killed."

Ba'al's eyes roamed over Martouf. "Yes, Lantesh was always the fiery one."

"Please proceed to the torture and killing. This conversation is over," Martouf said tightly.

Ba'al seemed to pout, if that was possible of the Goa'uld. "You wound me."

John and Rodney both frowned as Ba'al took Martouf by the elbow and led him away for a more private conversation.

"What the hell was that?" John asked.

Dave inched back a bit, so his team could see he now had a smoking cigar in his mouth. "Them two? Those boys got history."

Rodney pushed past John, hijacking his space and earning an annoyed glare. "What? What do you mean history?"

"Oh yeah, Martouf and Lantesh had a thing with big Ba'al. Martouf's got a thing for me too," Dave said with a knowing nod.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Sure he does, Dave."

Dave turned around slowly. "Hey, I know. I got gaydar."

"No, what you have is a mental condition," Rodney said with a snort.

Dave took his cigar from his mouth and pointed it and Rodney, moving it across to John and then back to Rodney, while making a small buzzing sound. Then he began to laugh his low, throaty laugh. "Gaydar says I just picked up some real naughty boys. Shame on you."

John stood with his mouth open as Dave laughed.

Rodney looked around nervously. "Uh... what? No!"

Dave popped the cigar in his mouth and held up his hand. "Hey, the Colonel's got a whole lot more going on in the penthouse than people know about," he said, jabbing his own temple.

"You carry grenades in your pants. That says everything," Rodney said petulantly.

Dave pointed at Rodney. "Exactly."

Rodney frowned as Dave turned away. "What?"

They all fell silent as Martouf slowly skulked back.

Dave watched him closely. "You alright, Marty? Want me to slap that bitch around a bit?"

Martouf stared at Dave. "That would be most unwise in our current situation."

Dave nodded. "Need a hug, big guy?"

Martouf seemed to think long and hard. "Perhaps later," he said, turning to watch Ba'al.

Dave discreetly half-turned to Rodney and John, mouthing the words, totally wants me.

When he was turned away again, Rodney leaned in close to John and whispered, "I'm beginning to see why he's not such a bad guy."

John narrowed his eyes at Rodney. "Sir, are we just going to stand around here all day? I don't think Ba'al's in the mood for just a big reunion party."

Dave took a long drag of his cigar. "Don't worry, I got a plan."

Rodney started to walk off, John grabbing his arm and making him stay.

Dave stepped back a little, pulling Martouf closer to the group. "You girls packin' like I told ya?"

Rodney glared. "No, we're just glad to see you."

"Quit your whining, woman, we're about to save Atlantis and make out with lots of alien women." Dave looked at the three men on the team. "Okay, you get to save the Atlantis. I get to make out."

"Sir, I'm not sure about this plan," John said, looking skeptical.

"Hey, trust me, I'm the Colonel," Dixon said. "Now, on my mark, ladies. Pants down, grenades out."

Elizabeth Weir frowned, not believing what she saw on the other side of the room, yet unnoticed by many others. She inched closer to Colonel O'Neill.

"Colonel?" she whispered. "Why are your men taking their pants off?"

Jack watched SG-15 discreetly reaching into their pants and sighed heavily. "Crazy sons of bitches."

- the end -