making history

It was green. Like a lot of planets in Pegasus. Funny that, how scientists spent so many years looking for Earth-like planets and here in Pegasus finding Earth-like planets was simply getting boring now.

“Well, got any idea what the hell this place is?” John asked, frowning at a tree as if maybe the tree would fess up.

“Yeah, sure,” Rodney said calmly.

John turned to look at Rodney. “Really?”

Rodney nodded. “Sure. Because unlike you, I've been here before. Yeah, I checked out this place before we followed that Wraith through his magic portal. I knew this was going to happen because I'm psychic. Did I mention I carry tarot cards in my backpack too?”

John stared, utterly unamused. Behind him, Dave started to chuckle around his cigar. “Oh man. He got you there, Shep.”

“That was most fine sarcasm,” Martouf said with a nod. “Very impressive that even at times like this, you find it easy to be this acerbic.”

Rodney glared at Martouf. “You can talk, Mr oh hey where's that Wraith going let's follow him!”

Martouf stiffened. “Now you are just being rude.”

“Because you're an idiot and you deserve it,” Rodney said evenly.

“Hey, leave him alone,” Dave said, jabbing his cigar in Rodney's direction. “He didn't know the damn Wraith was setting up his personal wormhole in the middle of an old Ancient temple.”

“Oh, sure. I mean experience does tell us, everything in Pegasus is safe, Dave,” Rodney said.

Dave turned to John to no doubt tell him to deal with his woman or something. John pulled a face and squinted even before Dave could even begin to venture down his chosen path of inappropriate suggestions. Dave pointed at him with his cigar and gave a low dirty chuckle. John rolled his eyes and turned away.

“Just... figure out what happened, McKay,” John said.

Rodney nodded. “Sure, let me get my tarot cards out.”

John scowled at him as Martouf peered at the markings of a nearby stone protruding from the ground. “These appear to be of Celtic origin. The first we have seen in Pegasus. Perhaps it can give us a clue about our current location.”

“Celtic,” Rodney snorted. “What the hell do you know about Celtic markings?”

“Kill him! Why must I endure such misery!”

Rodney, John and Dave all turned at the same to stare at Martouf who's eyes were glowing. Martouf shook his head and cleared his throat.

“You okay, buddy?” John asked slowly.

Martouf smiled. “I am. Lantesh is suffering from Poff Narr. It occurrs in a Tok'ra symbiote every five years. You may notice that during this time Lantesh is ruder than usual. It is a difficult time for both of us.”

Dave looked at Rodney. “You got what he's got too?”

“Oh, shut up,” Rodney said, giving Dave the skunk eye.

“Poff Narr?” John asked. “Really?”

Martouf nodded. “Really. Dave has suffered the consequences of Poff Narr before. He has since learned to be more sensitive.”

Rodney grinned at Dave. “Ha. Really?”

Dave arched a brow at Rodney. “I hope he bites your ass this time.”

Rodney rolled his eyes and then turned to Martouf with a somewhat unbelieving look. “Really? Poff Narr, huh?”

Martouf cleared his throat. “Look there, I think I see someone coming.”

“Oh, you see someone coming all right,” Rodney said, him and John grinning as Martouf blushed.

“I will bathe in your ashes!” Lantesh snapped, eyes glowing brightly. John and Rodney stared. Dave stepped up to Martouf and slapped him. Martouf shook his head and smiled. “Thank you, Dave.”

“Anytime, Marty,” Dave said, squeezing Martouf's shoulder before going off to explore bushy territory.

Martouf watched him go with a sigh, receiving a comforting pat on the shoulder from John. “I will break your hand if you touch me again!” Lantesh snarled. John immediately stepped away as Martouf sheepishly said, “Sorry.”

“Hey, you know what Poff Narr sounds like?” Rodney said pointing at John with a grin.

“I see something!” Dave told him before Rodney could finish the thought.

“Other crazy people?” Rodney called out.

“Woman, don't you ever stop?” Dave called back.

“Who goes there? Show yourself!” someone demanded from beyond the thick foliage.

John slowly turned to Rodney. “Come across a lot of English accents in Pegasus lately?”

“Don't be ridiculous. I posses only selective hearing for picking up things of interest,” Rodney replied.

Dave was peeking through the bushes. He waved on the team. “Just two of them. They look harmless.”

“No way anything bad can happen in that case,” Rodney said.

They all stepped out into a clearing to see two young men, one blonde and the other dark haired, the blonde holding a sword in his hand. They were both staring at SG-15, looking rather wary.

“Interesting attire,” the one with the sword asked.

“Um... well, we're not from around here,” John said carefully, something about their attire disturbing his Spidey-sense.

The two young men looked a little more alarmed, the dark haired one saying, “No. You don't sound like it.”

“Hey, we're not dangerous. We're just lost,” Dave explained. “I'm Dave Dixon and this is my team. Marty, Shep and Mouthy.”

“Hey!”

“I mean, McKay.”

“Such an asshole.”

The blonde nodded. “I am Prince Arthur. This is my manservant, Merlin.”

The team stared quietly for a very long time. Then they started to laugh while Martouf frowned at his friends. He turned to Arthur and Merlin with a polite smile. “They are often under a great deal of stress.”

Arthur nodded. “What a charming way of describing lunacy.”

“What's so funny?” Merlin asked the team with a grin, Arthur looking bemused next to him.

Rodney was still laughing. “Oh come on, next you're going to say this is Camelot and you're holding Excalibur there and Merlin the big wizard here's going to do some magic tricks. I mean, seriously, what's going on here?”

Merlin was no longer grinning and Arthur was turning on him with a, “I knew it!”

“I can explain,” Merlin said with obviously fake calm. “Actually it's a very funny story.”

“Oh really?” Arthur asked. “Well, I'm wearing a very fine vest today. Let's hope I don't cause too much of a mess when I split my sides laughing, Merlin.”

Merlin nodded, gulping. “Um, might not actually be that funny come to think of it.”

Arthur turned to the team with a strained smile and said, “If you could excuse us a moment please.”

Martouf smiled and nodded, “Of course.”

Rodney was still quietly chuckling while Dave shook his head with amusement. John looked at the two young men who seemed to be having an intense conversation complete with hand-waving and some foot stomping too.

John shook his head and grinned. “Arthur and Merlin. Like something could actually shoot us to another galaxy and another time. Like a Wraith might actually have the technology to do that. In the middle of some Ancient temple. Back in time to when Merlin was young. I mean, the Ancients... and Camelot. Wraith Ancients Camelot. Wraith Ancients Camelot.”

Wide-eyed, John swiftly turned to look at Dave who had dropped his cigar from his mouth, letting it start a small fire around his feet and Rodney who was behind him and breathing into a paper bag, which was interesting because they had lost everything except for their grenades, but not Rodney's big paper bag of 'oh my god!'.

Martouf quickly stamped out the fire around Dave, telling John, “Yes, you make a valid point.”

“Dr. Jackson is going to be so pissed,” John said. “Again.”

“Screw him,” Rodney said, once again proving his mastering of a speedy recovery as he pushed past John to gawk at the two arguing men. “Arthur and Merlin? No way. Look at them. Arthur and Merlin.”

“It appears Arthur is very angry,” Martouf said.

John nodded. “I always figured Merlin would have a big long beard.”

“Please, just because you could probably grow a forest at that age,” Rodney said.

“That's funny, I thought you liked my forest,” John said lightly, making Rodney choke on his own scorn so Dave had to thump him hard.

“Man, will you look at it. Arthur and Merlin. This has got to put us points ahead of those goobers in SG-1, right?” Dave asked. “I mean, when's the last time they went back in time?”

“I believe it was 1969,” Martouf said helpfully.

“That was a lame year,” Dave snorted.

“That is not very nice, Dave,” Martouf pointed out.

“Yeah, they're not really goobers, Sir,” John agreed amiably.

“Oh please,” Rodney said. “They make maybe one noteworthy discovery a week and everyone wants to freeze them and hang them on the wall and worship them.”

“That complaint was very specific,” John said. “Kind of creepy.”

“Mmm, Samantha Carter. If only she would have me,” Lantesh said, breathy and wide-eyed.

“You shut your mouth!” Rodney snapped, finger rigidly pointed at Martouf.

Martouf frowned, his eyes back to normal. John gave Rodney the skunk eye and moved away.

“What?” Rodney asked. “I was defending her honour.” John mumbled something rude under his breath.

“We'll discuss this later,” Arthur was snapping at Merlin as both approached the team. “Forgive me, but we had urgent matters to discuss about... fashion.” Both Merlin and Arthur looked silly and like lying liars who lie badly. “One question. How do you know of Camelot and Merlin's wizardry if you are from far away? I mean, I think perhaps you might actually know things of which even I am unaware.”

Dave opened his mouth to speak, but Rodney grabbed his arm and pulled him away, yelling back at Arthur, “Be right back!”

“Woman, I ain't your boytoy for you to be dragging around. What's the matter with you?” Dave said, pulling away.

Rodney looked to John for help, who most unhelpfully said, “Don't look at me. I ain't your boytoy either.”

Rodney rolled his eyes and looked to Martouf who explained, “We must tread carefully. Whatever we say may impact our own time-line.”

“Right. No stepping on bugs and shit,” Dave said.

Martouf nodded, fluent in Dave Dixon of course. “Bugs mainly.”

“Uh, yeah!” Rodney said. “We could go back to the future--”

“Love that movie.”

“And find the gate program never happened because you introduced cigars to the environment way too early. Or something,” Rodney said. Then he calmed down and added, “Worst case scenario.”

“That's so unlike you,” John commented.

“Okay stop it,” Rodney told him. “I do not have a thing for Carter.”

“That's probably good because she thinks you're an ass,” John said with a smile.

Rodney went very quiet. Martouf smiled and told John, “Your jealous streak excites Rodney a great deal.”

Rodney swiftly turned to berate Martouf, but noticed something was amiss. Something very tall and dangerous. “Oh my god. Where's Dave?”

John looked around to see Dave talking to Arthur and Merlin. “Crap.”

The room was pretty and the bed huge, the fire roaring. Rodney stared at his surroundings. “You know, that great big oaf never ceases to amaze me.”

John nodded from where he sat by the fire, eating grapes, already in his newly gifted attire, looking rather princely and hot. Rodney made no attempt to curb his staring. John looked up innocently.

“Grape?” he asked.

Rodney took the grape from John's fingers and threw it into the fire. John's eyes widened oh so innocently. “I'm still not talking to you, McKay.”

Rodney shrugged and grinned. “Yeah, don't really need you to right now.”

And because John had no shame, he was fine with this.

“I am very impressed,” Martouf said looking at the room he and Dave had been given. “You told the truth and they believed you?”

“Well, kinda,” Dave said from where he lay on the bed, looking very comfortable. “I said we're explorers and we got sucked through some bad mojo and ended up here. Apparently, they're used to seeing weird shit all the time.”

Martouf climbed onto the bed and lay down too. “Do you think we will find a way back?”

“Merlin says he'll try to help. Once Arthur starts talking to him,” Dave explained. “Apparently magic is a big old secret here.” Martouf nodded. “Marty, your hand's straying. Again.”

Martouf looked down to see his hand on Dave's thigh. On his solid, thick, hard thigh. He blinked to come back to reality. “I apologise. As you are aware, this time of the year does strange things to Lantesh and myself.”

“Yeah,” Dave said, taking Martouf's hand and squeezing it before he gently removed it. “Here. Have a cigar, buddy.”

Martouf took the cigar and smoked it. Inside his head, Lantesh continued his filthy mutterings.

John fell back on the bed, gasping, sweaty and hot, his clothes unlaced and partially open in all manner of places. He blinked away the stars in front of his eyes, coming back to his senses as Rodney fell beside him in a similar state of undress.

“So, you like the new threads,” John said, trying to catch his breath. “I'll have to remember that.”

Rodney nodded beside him and said, “Think you might be able to get a sword too?”

That night there was magic in the air. All night long. Not as a euphemism for sex either, though there was a lot of sex happening in Camelot too. There was Meredith perched on the barrel with Jim inside her, the moonlight bouncing off his bare bottom. There was Sir Percy and Lady Helena having a midnight tryst in the cloisters, him wearing her dress on this occasion. There was John and Rodney from a land far far away, who were now experimenting with silken bindings. There was Martouf of far far away who was unknowingly moving closer to Dave of far far away, unafraid of the other man's frightening midnight mutterings.

In fact the only people not having sex-magic were the young Prince and his faithful manservant, spending the whole night talking over the dilemma of the strangers and drinking only water to keep alert and not at all experimenting with Merlin's powers that were now of knowledge to the Prince, and Merlin most certainly did not use his powers to momentarily subdue the Prince when he wouldn't shut up, and he also did not notice the flush and gasp as the Prince found him less afraid of Merlin's magic and more... well, something else...

Had such a thing happened.

Which it didn't.

Dave felt soft lips touch his mouth, the warm presence of a body on top of him. He let his hands wander up arms, down the curves of back and ass. He sleepily whispered a name. The kissing stopped to Dave's disappointment. He opened his eyes to see Martouf frowning at him.

“Who is--?”

“Nobody,” Dave said. “Just some name.”

“Is she the one who broke your heart, Dave?” Martouf asked gently, his hands doing something nice and soothing.

“No, sir,” Dave said. “Nothing like that at all.”

Martouf shook his head. “You are lying.”

“You know I don't lie, Marty,” Dave said. “When you're over six feet of crazy, ain't no reason to lie.”

Martouf nodded. “I never thought you were crazy, Dave.”

Dave sighed and looked between them. “Seriously, this is all Lantesh?”

Martouf made a sad little face. “His condition has many unfortunate side-effects. The susceptibility to the power of suggestion being one.”

“I don't remember suggestin' nothin'.”

“Unfortunately, your being here is suggestion enough,” Martouf said.

“You know I know you got a thing for me, right?” Dave asked quietly. “You want me to help you out, buddy, you just gotta say.”

Martouf seem to think this over long and hard, his expression stiffening somewhat. Then he said, “I do not need to be helped out, Colonel.”

Martouf moved off of Dave and lay down, turning his back on the other man. Behind him Dave sighed. “Are you mad at me?” he asked.

“No,” Martouf said simply.

“You sound like you're mad at me,” Dave said.

“I am not. I am tired and would like to sleep now,” Martouf said. He felt Dave's hand on his shoulder and immediately shrugged it off.

“Damn it. I hate it when you get like this,” Dave said, falling back with a thump. “Marty. Marty. Marty? ... Marty.”

“For once will you shut that loud annoying hole you call a mouth. Martouf is sleeping,” Lantesh said, sitting up and arching a brow at Dave. “I cannot comprehend what he sees in you, ape man. Leave him be.” Dave frowned. “Ugh. Humans,” Lantesh said. “There is so much about you that makes me want to kill you. So much.”

Dave stared. “Complex little worm, aren't ya?”

“You have no idea,” Lantesh said. “Now shut up and sleep so I can have a small reprieve from my torture.”

Martouf's body flopped back down. Dave closed his eyes and allowed the silence. But after a while...

“Lantesh is a fool. Do not listen to him,” Martouf said quietly.

Dave smiled and slung an arm over Martouf's shoulders.

The morning really ought to have come with waffles and coffee. Instead it came with Prince Arthur bursting into John's room, sword in hand. Whatever was on his lips died as he came to a standstill to see John and Rodney in a tangle of limbs and sheets. He looked from John to Rodney and frowned.

“Really? Him? But he never stops talking,” Arthur said.

“Hey!” Rodney objected.

John smirked. “Trust me, there are ways.”

“You're such an asshole.” Rodney glared at John.

Arthur shook his head. “Look, I have news. Something's in the forest. Where we found you and your friends. No one has ever seen anything like it. We thought perhaps you might know what it is.”

John nodded slowly, pretty much guessing what the big surprise was likely to be. “We'll be out in a second.”

Arthur nodded. “I will assemble my men.”

He gave Rodney another curious look and then ran out. John and Rodney quickly jumped out of bed and started dressing.

“I don't really talk that much. Do I?” Rodney asked, looking perplexed as he tried to tie his breeches.

John pulled a face. “Of course not. Ignore him. He doesn't know you.”

Rodney stilled and stared at John. “Wow. That was so boyfriend of you.”

John rolled his eyes and told Rodney to shut up.

Dressed and ready they ran to Dave and Martouf's room, only to find Martouf pulling on a rather princely jacket.

“Where's the colonel?” John asked.

“He is gone,” Martouf said, clearly worried. “He left as soon as Merlin told him something was out there. The foolishly brave man has gone to fight a Wraith alone.”

“Crap,” John said. “Wraith? Are you sure?”

“They found a body in the forest. Drained. We must leave immediately,” Martouf said, dressed and done and pushing past them into the hall.

“A Wraith?” Arthur said as they reached the forest and dismounted. “A magical creature?”

John made a face. “Well... it's complicated.”

Arthur turned to John, crossbow in hand. “I'm not a fool, John. I assure you I have seen plenty of things that would make your blood run cold.”

John nodded. “Hey, I believe you. I'm just saying it'll be quicker to catch the damn thing and talk about it later.”

Arthur nodded, looking as though he was restraining whatever thoughts were on his mind. “Very well. Though I doubt I'll receive any explanation later.”

Arthur nodded to John and ran on ahead, yelling at a soldier to find out where the hell Merlin had disappeared. Rodney sidled up to John. “Punk,” he snorted.

John shook his head. “He's just trying to look out for his people, Rodney.” Rodney looked at John, one of those small frowns he had every now and then. “What?”

Rodney shrugged, an unusually soft smile on his face. “Nothing. Boyfriend thoughts. Best not to talk about them.”

John rolled his eyes, but smiled nevertheless. “Good idea.”

“How touching.”

Rodney and John turned to see Martouf... no, Lantesh. His eyes had started to glow incredibly bright and he looked bored out of Martouf's brain. “Don't you think we better go and save that great big fool? Anything happens to him, Martouf will be intolerable. More so than usual.” Lantesh held up a sword. “And to answer a question, boys, Goa'uld versus Wraith.”

And then Lantesh was running into the forest, looking too happy about killing things.

“It's a sorry state when we're both the sanest people on a team,” Rodney said.

John held up his shiny new crossbow and winked. Off he ran too. Rodney shook his head and followed, keeping all the dirty thoughts for later.

That day Camelot heard a sound unlike which they had ever heard before. It was like thunder, but it reverberated through the ground as if the clouds had fallen. It was like a mighty oak had fallen. A very mighty oak. Like, as big as Camelot even. Really big. People in the city ran back and forth in terror, incurring stupid injuries that could have been avoided if they'd just remained calm.

But when the terror was over, then came celebration. For that night, a man was honoured. A man who saved Camelot by reaching into his pants.

“Rise, Sir Dave of Pegasus. You conquered a great foe and saved Camelot from terrible evil. The people of Camelot are forever indebted to you,” Uther said as everyone looked on.

Arthur was standing close by, arms folded across chest, smiling as he watched. When Dave got to his feet, Arthur led the applause, Merlin grinning by his side and clapping.

“Unbelievable,” Rodney said, slowly clapping.

“Stuff just happens to that guy,” John said, shaking his head and clapping his hands. “Remember the time he was made King?”

“And also Lantesh now knows the answer to Goa'uld versus Wraith,” Martouf said, beaming and clapping. “Sir Dave Dixon.”

John and Rodney looked at Martouf and left to get drunk.

The celebrations went on into the night. There was much dancing that all of SG-15 were too awful at to participate in. As night edged towards morning, Arthur found John and stole him away from the party, leading him down to the dungeon and a room filled with weaponry and miscellaneous pointy objects. Arthur nodded to the table. John went closer and it became clear he was looking at something that didn't belong in Camelot.

“From the Wraith,” Arthur said, standing there with arms folded, trying to look much older than he was. “Those are the scattered belongings we were able to find. I thought they could be of some use to you.”

John picked up a heavy and sticky gauntlet that was still blinking. Maybe it had belonged to the Wraith recently, but the markings had the good old Ancient trademarks. “Yeah. Maybe.”

“Merlin says the Wraith entered through some kind of portal. Just like you. He said it could be from a completely different world. A different time even. Like you?”

John looked at Arthur and nodded. “It's complicated.”

“Of course it is.” Arthur nodded slowly and then at the gauntlet. “The Wraith was seen using that. It appeared he was able to manipulate the world around him. Perhaps it is how he brought himself here. And how you can leave before more of his kind come.”

“Got it,” John said, nodding.

“Good.” Arthur smiled. “Just one more thing.”

Before John could ask what, the future King of Camelot had stepped forward with some force, pushing John's back against the edge of the table. He pressed his mouth to John's, his fingers crushing the material of John's shirt as he greedily stole a firm kiss with his soft lips. When he pulled away, it was slow and his mouth was wet, his eyes a little glazed.

“Um...” John said cleverly. “What--?”

Arthur straightened up. “You speak to me as if I were a child.”

John nodded. Then he smiled. “Right.”

Arthur smiled and shook his head. “You are strange people.”

John gave a nod. “Yeah. We kind of are.”

Arthur nodded to the table. “Take what you need, Find your way home. There's already much my people have to fight. I'm not sure we could take on the Wraith as well.”

“You don't have to take them on alone, not while we're here,” John said.

Arthur nodded. “I know. All the same.”

Arthur turned to go. John couldn't help but ask, “You sure you weren't just curious?”

Arthur turned slightly, his profile visible and showing an amused smirk. “As the prince, I am under no obligation to answer that question.”

John laughed and nodded. “Right.”

“I will see you in the morning. Rest well,” Arthur said quietly before leaving John alone to muse over the strange rumblings under his feet.

“This is unbelievable. It's just... it's not right,” Rodney said miserably. Merlin stopped pointing his fingers towards the spinning sword in front of them and it dropped the ground. He looked at Rodney with a smile. “Not right at all. Seriously, how?”

Merlin shrugged. “I just can. I just... do it.”

Rodney shook his head. “Magic isn't supposed to be real. What's next? God?”

“Well... maybe magic is just another way of communicating with the world. Something natural. I'm not an evil demon or something, you know. I'm just me,” Merlin said quietly, looking as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“Huh. Natural,” Rodney said. Then he thought about it. “Natural. Natural like... ascension. Natural like something the Ancients would be involved in, meaning as natural as the most unnatural thing possible.”

“I have no idea what you're talking about,” Merlin said.

Rodney was grinning. “Ha! Magic isn't real. This is more Ancient bullshitty nonsense. I knew it!”

“You're a bit scary.”

“Hey, you seen any glowy people lately?” Rodney asked with a frown.

Merlin just stared and said, “I have to go now.”

“And there was this time we were caught in a burning house and again ended up losing all of our clothes somehow,” Dave said, waving a chicken drumstick. “That happens to us a lot, come to think of it.”

Morgana eyed him appreciatively. “Really? What a shame.”

Dave nodded. “I can tell you I felt pretty stupid, mister.”

Morgana leaned back towards Gwen and whispered, “I don't know why, but I like it when he calls me that.”

Gwen nodded, eye on Dave. “He's big isn't he?”

Morgana eyed him all over again and then smiled her sweetest smile. “Can I feel your arm?”

Dave frowned at her. “You fellas are pretty fresh.”

Gwen grinned at him. “I have no idea what that means, but yes please.”

Dave shook his head and damned his irresistibility as usual. Then he flexed.

“This Ba'al treated you most unkindly,” Uther said thoughtfully. Martouf nodded, looking into his ale. “Though, I must also speak in his defence.”

Martouf looked up at Uther, wide-eyed with shock. No one ever spoke in his defence. Usually people just called him names. “You must?”

Uther smiled. “I must.”

Martouf nodded. “Please, go ahead.”

Uther downed his goblet. “Power gives you many things, but it takes away just as much. You can no longer trust those close to you. You cannot explain what you are becoming to retain power, to those you love. You push people away. Imprison yourself in loneliness. Is it not possible that Ba'al was a victim of his own success?”

Martouf smiled. “No. As John has said many times, Ba'al is just an evil bastard.”

Uther nodded with an amused smile. “Yet you still love him.”

Marty looked across the hall where Dave was sitting with two beautiful young women, entertaining them with his stories and just by being Dave. Martouf cleared his throat and nodded. “Sometimes.”

“And does Ba'al still love you?” Uther asked.

Martouf shook his head slowly. “He only loves owning things and people.”

Uther nodded slowly and gave Martouf a pat on the knee, while Martouf wondered what it was he found so irresistible about capes in general.

When John found Rodney it looked as though Rodney was trying to find various ways of molesting a statue.

“Wouldn't you rather do that to me?” John asked, sidling up to the scientist.

Rodney gave him a glare. “Only if you have the potential to reveal a cavern of Ancient technology via cleverly disguised mechanisms.”

John pretended to think about it. “How about Wraith technology and substantially less than a cavern worth?”

Rodney frowned, giving John a poke in the stomach. John grinned and held up the Wraith gauntlet. Rodney grabbed it greedily. “And it's not even our anniversary.”

John tapped the gauntlet. “Think you can get it to work?”

“You kidding? I'm a genius, remember?”

John nodded. “Modest too.”

“Screw that. I say if you have a trumpet, then blow it.”

“I have a trumpet. Could you blow it?” John asked, arching a brow.

“Later,” Rodney said, poking the gauntlet and bounding off.

John struggled for a moment, wondering if he really had something to tell Rodney or if he was about to make a fool of himself. Then he blurted out, “Prince Arthur came on to me. Weird huh?”

Rodney stopped, turning to frown at John. “What? He hit on you?”

“Kissed me,” John said with a nod.

Rodney looked a little confused. Then he made a face. “Really? What... what did you do?”

John shook his head. “Nothing. I just... I was kind of in shock. I didn't really see it coming.”

Rodney gave a small lopsided smile, something sad at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah. Sounds like you.” He stepped towards John. “So, how come you're telling me?”

John shrugged. “Figured it was the thing to do.”

Rodney nodded. Then smiled. “That's another one in the not so bad boyfriend column, eh?”

John made a face, covering his eyes, but laughing all the same. “McKay.”

“What? It's true,” Rodney said with a shrug. “So, what did he do after he kissed you?”

“I think he implied I was a moron for talking to him like he's a kid,” John said slowly.

Rodney nodded slowly. “Well, nothing says adult like sticking your tongue down someone's throat.” Rodney stuck out his chin then, in typical stubborn fashion. “Did you like it?”

John arched a brow. “Do I look like an idiot?”

Rodney pointed at him and smiled. “Good answer.”

The festivities ended late, but Martouf retired early anyway. He went back to his room and lay on the bed, staring up at the canopy, another reminder of one of Ba'al's many lavish capes. He reached inside his shirt and fingered a discreetly hidden medallion. It was one of Ba'al's 'if you ever change your mind' medallions. All Martouf had to do was pull it apart from its chain and Ba'al would find him wherever he was.

Well, except for back in time. That was a little more tricky.

The door opened and Martouf closed his eyes, listening to Dave shuffling about as he tried to remove his clothes, cursing the whole time. Finally he fell on the bed with a thump and sigh. Martouf cracked open one eye and looked at the man next to him. Dave had apparently forgotten that it was best to keep clothed when sleeping on missions. Though, Martouf fully appreciated Dave in any manor of nakedness too. And besides, on many a mission Dave had been at his military best whilst in the nude, so the issue of sleeping undressed was mostly a non-issue.

Dave was blinking slowly, fighting to stay awake as he frowned at Martouf. “Hey Marty. How's it going?” Martouf opened both eyes, but said nothing. Dave lazily reached into Martouf's shirt, his fingers cool on Martouf's skin, gentle as they wrapped around Martouf's hand. He pulled Martouf's hand out of his shirt, away from the medallion. “It's not that bad, is it?” Dave murmured with a drunken half-smile.

Martouf blinked back the sting in his eyes and shook his head. “No.”

Dave squeezed his hand. “How's Lantesh doing?”

“His anger is dying down.”

“How are you doing?”

Martouf looked down Dave's hand around his. He felt a sudden flush of heat and was moving towards Dave, foolishly brave or just plain foolish maybe. As drunk as he was, Dave still managed to grab Martouf by his wrists and push him back down, pinning the body below with his considerably larger one.

“I am sorry. Clearly, I am still open to all manner of suggestion,” Martouf said breathlessly.

“Don't worry, Marty. I got your back,” Dave said quietly, his gaze soft and intense at the same time.

Martouf looked at the naked man on top of him. “And my front, it seems.”

“We get back to Pegasus, seriously, I'm taking you down to a whorehouse,” Dave promised with a nod. “You've got to work this out.”

“You do not have to do that,” Martouf said quietly. “This will pass.”

“Hey, I'd do anything for you, buddy. You know that, right?” Dave asked.

Martouf nodded. “That is one thing I have always known.”

Dave gave a nod and grin. “Good. I'm going to pass out now.”

Martouf nodded. “Okay.”

And then Dave slumped on top of Martouf, his head falling on Martouf's shoulder with a thud, like a huge watermelon. Martouf felt Dave's grip around his wrists relax. With a sigh, he slowly turned the other man onto his back, reaching for the blankets and pulling them up over his sleeping form.

Propping himself up on an elbow, Martouf watched Dave for a moment before sighing and telling him, “I hate you, Dave Dixon.”

He pressed a kiss to the sleeping man's furrowed brow and lay down next to him, falling asleep listening to Lantesh who was well into his state of depressive moaning.

Morning came with a loud knocking on the door. Martouf pushed Dave off with some difficulty, the other man having rolled half his body on top of Martouf in the middle of the night. As soon as Martouf unlocked the door Rodney of course burst in with John following behind. Rodney shook a Wraith gauntlet at Martouf, which was almost like a usual morning greeting for him.

“Pack your stuff, Mrs. Dixon, we're going home,” he said.

Martouf sullenly looked at John. “I hate it when he calls me that.”

“Whatever,” Rodney said. “Get the big lug up. I have no idea how much juice this thing has left. Also, while it's on this side of the temporal distortion, who knows how many Wraith might find their way through. We have to go now.”

John nodded. “He's right. We need to make tracks. He's not dead is he?” John eyed Dixon under the covers with some concern.

“It appears the colonel may have gotten quite merry last night,” Martouf explained.

Rodney poked at a pair of boxers on the floor with the tip of his boot. “Does he always sleep in the buff?”

“How the hell would Martouf know?” John said, just as Martouf said. “Yes. I mean, how I would I know?”

“Hey!” Dave said, suddenly sitting up glaring at his team. “You girls want to keep it down? Go have your goddamn pyjama party somewhere else.”

Rodney held out the gauntlet. “The way back home. We're leaving. Now.”

Dave looked even more annoyed, getting up and walking around the bed. “Well how about you actually tell me, woman? I ain't no damn psychic.”

“Hello, that's why we're here!” Rodney said, as Dave picked up his boxers and proceeded to put them on, followed by the rest of his clothes scattered over the floor.

“Sir, we need to move pretty quickly. Apparently the Wraith punched a hole in time and space to follow us here and if we don't go through, closing it behind us, it'll get bigger and starting sucking things in,” John said, sitting on the edge of the bed. “That Wraith gauntlet is effectively keep it open while it stays on this side of the distortion.”

Martouf nodded. “The people of Camelot have been good to us. We cannot risk their lives any longer.”

“I hear ya,” Dave said, grabbing his jacket. “Let's go.”

“This is the place where we met yesterday,” Arthur said with a nod. “How will you locate the precise spot?”

Rodney held up a scanner and then looked at the screen. “This should lead to anything that shouldn't already be here. Like any kind of environmental disturbance. Ah, here we go,” he said, walking off.

Arthur shook his head. “The future you come from, everything seems like magic.” He turned to look at Merlin with a rather regretful look. “And you don't even bat an eyelid.” Merlin swallowed, avoiding Arthur's gaze, forcing the Prince to look away. Arthur nodded to SG-15. “Is it time?”

Rodney was nodding at an empty space by a bush. “Yep. This is it. The way back.”

Arthur reached out and gave John a manly clap on the shoulder. “Safe journey.”

John was nodding. He gave both Merlin and Arthur a look. “You guys take care of each other.”

John turned and was the first to walk past Rodney into invisibility. Arthur and Merlin stared in fascination. Martouf gave them each a polite nod and followed, again, disappearing into thin air.

Dave stopped in front of Arthur and Merlin. “Camelot's a nice place. Don't screw it up.” He winked at them and turned to walk away. But then he turned back and grinned. “And tell your lady friends I'll be thinking about them.” He chuckled and stepped through the invisible portal.

Rodney entered the last calibrations into the gauntlet and looked at the two young men. “Well, thanks for having us and all.” Then he looked at Arthur and said, “Oh and, Sheppard? Not his real hair.” And then Rodney left Camelot, its two heroes left staring.

“Camelot?” Elizabeth asked, unable to believe the story.

“I suppose we'd have no way of knowing if anything drastic has changed because of SG-15's presence,” Caldwell said. Then with a sigh he added, "Though it's probably prudent to assume the worst."

Elizabeth looked a little worried but said, “I'm sure they were careful.”

Everyone stared at her. Sumner said, “They're SG-15. They can't walk into the mens room without breaking something.”

Dave started to chuckle behind his cigar. “Yeah. He got us on that one. That's a first, Marsha.”

“What were they like?” Elizabeth asked, big smile and bright eyes.

“Young,” the team spoke at once.

“So very achingly young,” Martouf said with a sigh. Dave rubbed his back gently.

“Punks, Elizabeth. Snot-nosed punks. Nothing special,” Rodney said. “And so much shorter than I'd imagined. The women were hot, I'll give them that much.”

“Please, like he even looks at women anymore,” Dave said with a grin. He pointed at Rodney with his cigar and continued to grin as Rodney just scowled and John mopped up the coffee he had spit across the table.

“Doctor Weir,” Sumner said wearily. “Why don't we let SG-15 file their reports in the morning so we can stop having to listen to them now?”

Elizabeth smiled and gave a nod. “You're all free to go. Drop by the infirmary just as a precaution though.”

Everyone left one by one. Sumner sat back and morosely stared at the walls. “Idiots.”

At the SGC Daniel Jackson was reading through a newly acquired book only to stop at a picture of the knight Sir Dave Dixone holding up what looked like the severed head of a blue monster, three noble and terribly familiar looking men stood behind him, with swords and courageous looks.

Daniel picked up his magnifying glass to get a closer look, frowning at the familiar faces just as Jack walked in, hands in pockets and bored 'wanna go to get food?' look.

Daniel looked up and stared at Jack in silence. Jack frowned at him in response. “What's wrong?”

Daniel mutely held up the book and blinked. Jack moved in closer and frowned at the illustration. Then he shook his head and turned to leave. “I hate those crazy bastards.”

- the end -