five, six...

Teyla picked up a grape from her tray, rolling it back and forth between her fingers and then letting it drop.

A tray was placed opposite her and she looked up to see Major Sheppard, a smile on his face as if he were in the middle of some private joke.

"Major," Teyla said, greeting him with a smile.

He sat down. "Teyla," he said, making it sound oddly like a question. "I have to tell you, those were some pretty impressive moves I saw today."

Teyla frowned. "Moves?"

"Yeah, when you took on our Wraith guest," he said taking a bite of his sandwich.

Teyla nodded in understanding. "I fear they were impressive only as a spectacle, Major."

"Are you kidding me? You took on a Wraith with a bunch of sticks. That's impressive."

Teyla felt like sighing in desperation. She didn't need her spirits lifted about almost becoming fodder. She needed to reconnect. She needed to find out where she slipped and why. "Major, I appreciate your compliments, but had you not arrived on time, I would be dead."

The Major looked at her, his sandwich half-way to his mouth. He put it down, his tongue coming out to lick is bottom lip as he did so. She could see he was searching for something to say that didn't involve platitude or awkward words of comfort. For these reasons alone, she liked the Major greatly. He did not offer comfort, but being around him seemed to offer it anyway.

"Where'd you learn to fight like that?" he finally asked and she smiled.

"My father was a master of the art. He taught me from a young age. My people never had weapons such as yours. Our biggest weapon was to hide or run. But there was always the fear that we would come face to face with our enemy and for that reason, we must be able to fight. Defend."

Major Sheppard gave a nod, listening closely.

"I never thought he would be taken, my father. He was a strong-willed man and never lost in a fight. I thought if any man could defeat a Wraith, it would be him," Teyla said, smiling, the grief as fresh as the day it had happened.

The Major shrugged. "It's how it is. We all like to think our Dads are heroes. I used to wish mine was Superman."

"Super man?"

The Major seemed a tad excited. "Superman? Well, he's this guy that comes from a galaxy far far away. See, his parents send him to Earth because their planet's about to blow up, only when he grows up on Earth he has all these cool super powers because, you know, he's not from around there. Of course, he's brought up by Earth parents, so he can't go around showing off his powers. So, he develops a secret identity. When he's pretending to be normal, he's Clark Kent. When he's out there outrunning bullets and speeding trains, he's Superman."

He gave a knowing nod as he finished, as if this were the greatest tale ever told.

"And no one is aware that these two people are the same?"

Major Sheppard shook his head. "He's got a costume for when he's Superman."

"I see. He wears a mask," Teyla said.

Her friend shook his head. "No. No mask. Pair of glasses actually."

"I see. And you wished your father was this Super man?"

The reply came with a shrug as if it were quite normal. "Sure. Or Batman."

"Bat man?"

"Yeah. Broody guy, wears a rubber bat suit, drives a cool car."

Teyla stared.

Major Sheppard stared back, a little frown on his face. "You eating those grapes?"

"You want me to get to know my sticks?" the Major asked, looking at the items in his hand.

Teyla smiled, taking a position in front of him, her staffs comfortably spinning through her fingers. "Those are not sticks, Major. They are an extension of your body. You must not think of them as separate to yourself."

The Major frowned at the sticks in his hand, looking a tad apprehensive. "I'm not sure I have long enough sleeves for these." He gave a shrug and then nodded. "Okay. Fine. Extension. Got it."

"Perhaps you should find different attire, Major. Something that will allow you to move more freely," Teyla suggested.

The Major was staring at her clothes for a while. Then he looked up at her amused face. "Well, believe it or not, I had the exact same outfit, but I left it back on Earth."

Teyla laughed and the Major seemed proud of it. "Well," she said. "If that is the case, we should begin."

John nodded. "Right. Ready." He frowned at the staffs for a moment. "What do I do?"

Teyla took her stance and trained her eyes on him completely. "You will try and make contact."

The Major was a quick learner only slowed down by his own frustration to know everything instantly. His frustration was evident whenever Teyla rapped his knuckles hard with a hit. Every tumble to the floor showed a flash of sharp anger in his eyes, something everyone didn't equate with the Major.

Teyla's father had been right. The reality of a person could be hidden by a mask, but always appeared as a flash in the eyes at a person's most naked moment.

Teyla swiftly spun from the Major's oncoming attack and with one fluid movement, took his legs from under him, making him land hard on his back. Even he was shocked by the impact of it, eyes wide and mouth open.

"Ow," he said.

Teyla knelt by his side. "You are unbalanced. It is why you leave yourself vulnerable."

He was frowning at her, his eyes shifting across the room. "Excuse me?"

Teyla lay her staffs down and placed a hand flat on his stomach, feeling it contract under her touch. He was looking down at her hand, low on his belly, turning his gaze to her.

"Here," she said. "This is the center of your balance." Teyla made her hand into a fist, pressing down lightly as the Major watched. "You must learn to move around it. That is what keeps you tied to the earth."

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with my center of gravity. You know, it takes just as much balance and co-ordination to fire a gun."

Teyla withdrew her hand and gave him an amused smile. "Yes, I am very aware of that fact. It is why I don't understand how you spend so much time lying on the floor."

The Major gave her an unamused look. "Maybe I like it down here."

It's the same dream. The night is dark and there are screams from every direction. Above her there is the sound of screeching wind, like the wails of terrified spirits. She looks around frantically and runs, even though people are running in the opposite direction.

Then she sees him, running towards her. She calls out for him, but as in all her dreams, there's no sound to her voice.

He runs towards her, his hand is frantically waving, telling her to run way, but she can't. It's a dream. Even when it was real she couldn't run. In the sky, she sees a Wraith dart headed in her direction and she stares at it. Then she looks at him and shakes her head and time is slow like syrup, pulling her in and apart.

He sees it too and he runs faster towards her. He reaches her. The dart is close and he pushes her away hard. She feels slighted, rejected, though it makes no sense to feel that way. He runs, but is swallowed by the beam of light and she sits on the damp grass, watching, stuck in time.

Teyla awoke, her eyes opening slowly and her body feeling cold and numb. She sat up, drawing her legs up and resting her folded arms on her knees, staring into the dark of the room.

Looking at her surroundings, she couldn't help feel the bitterness. A whole city had survived at the bottom of the sea. A grand, beautiful city, built by the ancestors.

But they ran away, while no one else could. The only ones that could have helped ran away. A city survived when humans died. Where was the justice in that? How was she supposed to look her people in the eye and tell them that they could keep fighting, that one day the Wraith would be gone forever, when she was beginning to doubt it herself?

It was why she fell. It was why she almost let that Wraith take her. Because sooner or later, one of his kind would have done it anyway.

She was fighting the Wraith. She was alone in the room, but every blow was aimed at them. Each blow was angry and filled with frustration. Each blow seemed to hurt her more until finally she threw the staffs at the wall, hard enough to make her muscles feel as though they would snap.

Teyla sank to the floor, out of breath. It was clear of course. Bullets were more efficient than staffs. Her father was from a lineage of farmers that had gathered the tools of their labor and turned them into weapons. If they had guns, Teyla would have grown up holding one instead of these useless pieces off wood. Maybe the only reason she held them at all was because once her father had believed they could be used in defense.

He was wrong.

"Hey, didn't we have a date?" Major Sheppard said, appearing in front of Teyla as she left her quarters.

Teyla frowned. "Date?"

Major Sheppard nodded and held up his staffs. "Yeah. You were supposed to be kicking my butt half an hour ago."

Teyla looked at him in surprise. "I am sorry, Major. I completely forgot."

He shrugged. "It's okay. You doing anything now?"

No, she wasn't. In fact, her practice took up a lot of time usually. Outside of fighting her phantom Wraith, all there seemed to be was time.

"Major, I am not certain we should continue these sessions," she said somewhat apprehensively.

He was clearly taken aback, staring at her in surprise. "I'm that bad?"

Teyla shook her head. "No, it has nothing to do with you. I just don't feel I can teach you anything that will amount to much."

Now he looked completely confused. "What are you talking about? You're great at this. I spend half of my time eating floor."

Teyla sighed with impatience. "Major, you don't understand. I don't want to do this anymore."

She walked away, not waiting for him to ask any questions she had no answers for.

Major Sheppard and Dr. McKay were bickering about something as they all headed to the jumper. The argument seemed to have no specific subject, so everything was probably normal.

Next to her, Ford was explaining something about Earth, but Teyla found herself unable to focus on his words. He must have noticed, because after a while he was quiet.

"So how come you're not doing any of that kendo, karate, martial arts stuff anymore?"

Teyla frowned at Ford. He waved his hands in front of him, making slicing sounds. Teyla smiled.

"I have no need for it. Your weapons are more practical against the Wraith," she said.

Ford shrugged. "So? I thought you liked all that stuff."

"But it serves no purpose," Teyla explained, wondering exactly who she was explaining this too.

"Yeah, but you don't do stuff just because it's practical. I mean, what about doing stuff just because it feels good? You know?"

Teyla frowned at Ford. He looked back and offered another shrug.

"It was never meant as leisure," Teyla explained. "My father taught me to fight so I could defend myself. Now I have a better means to do it."

"So you're not missing it?"

"Perhaps," she said. "But, I simply have no need for it."

Ford was looking at her, as if he wanted to say something, but was holding back. It was unlike him.

"What is it?" Teyla asked.

"Sometimes, when I miss my family, I try not to think of stuff that reminds me of them," Ford said.

Teyla stared at him a while before he simply shrugged off the comment and continued on ahead.

"Okay, okay!" Major Sheppard snapped ahead of them. "Jeez. You win, just quit going all pon farr on me."

"Are you poking fun at my ears?" Dr. McKay asked quizzically.

Major Sheppard shook his head and walked on ahead, Dr. McKay still pondering his question as Ford grinned.

For a moment, it was like being with family. A very strange family.

She went through the motions slowly, circular, natural. There was no Wraith here. There was only her. She spun through the center of the room, her arm coming out straight, flowing from her, the stick held only lightly, but never falling away.

The doors opened and Major Sheppard stepped in, stopping when he saw her.

"Hey, I didn't know you were going to be here," he said.

Teyla looked at the staffs in his hand and smiled. He realized she had noticed and looked a little embarrassed.

"What? I've been practicing, okay?"

Teyla smiled and stepped back, emptying the space for Major Sheppard. "I am pleased to hear it."

He frowned at her and threw his towel across the room, taking a stance opposite Teyla. It was alarmingly easy, the way they fell back into the routine. He lunged at her, she blocked and smacked his other hand hard, his mouth opening in pain, but making no sound.

They stepped away from each other and he gave her a glare. "I figured you'd be a little rusty. No such luck."

Teyla arched an eyebrow. "You said you did not know I was here."

He seemed to think about it. "Sorry, I think I have amnesia from how hard you just hit me."

They begun again and Teyla saw he was making the same headstrong mistakes, projecting his moves far ahead of making them. He came for her, she blocked and as a parting gesture, smacked his behind.

He grimaced and turned to face her again, his stance once again self-sure. He came for her, she blocked all the way to the ground and he slowly began to rise up, never breaking eye-contact. He pulled back, proud of the small victory. Teyla smiled, feeling the fight fresh in her again and took the opportunity to spin one of her staffs as they circled around each other.

He was not to be outdone of course and illustrated by copying her. She nodded, impressed. Maybe he had been practicing.

Major Sheppard lunged forward then and Teyla blocked the move, only she hadn't expected him to slip under, block her second move, follow her to the ground and then bound back, defending all the way until they came to a sudden stop where his arm was above her, holding back an attack, his other arm out at the side where she had blocked.

She smiled up at Major Sheppard. "It seems you have been practicing."

"Or maybe I'm just a natural," he said with a nod and smile.

Teyla nodded back, mirroring his smile. Then she pulled back her hand quick and brought the stick down hard on his hand. He dropped his weapon and yelled in pain, looking away from his overhead block. Teyla quickly pulled back from the block, pushed his arm down slightly and then smacked the weapon away with her second staff. The Major moved in the direction of the hit and Teyla's staff went hard against the back of his legs, sending him to his knees with a loud grunt.

As he sat on his knees, groaning and looking at his knuckles, Teyla leaned down by his ear and smiled. "Keep practicing."

Teyla went back to her position and waited for her opponent to resume his stance. He slowly got up, giving her a short glare as he did and went to face her once again.

"I thought you didn't want to do this anymore," he said. "What happened?"

Teyla thought about it. "My father used to say that knowing we will die is not reason enough to stop living." Teyla let the staffs spin in her hands as Major Sheppard nodded. "We may die at the hands of the Wraith, that is no reason to stop fighting or holding on to that which is dear to us."

The Major straightened up, smirking at Teyla. "Or, you just like kicking my ass on a regular basis."

Teyla smiled. "There is also that."

- the end -