the trouble with bubbles

"What is it?" Jim asked, peering at the thing with narrowed eyes.

"It appears to be an orb of light, Captain," Spock said, watching the orb with a suspicious eyebrow.

"It is so pretty," Chekov said, blinking at it sleepily.

Sulu frowned, the prettiness obviously escaping him. "It's... a light."

"Is everybody else hearing that too?" Uhura asked.

"Hearing what?" Bones asked.

"It's... I dunno, I can hear it saying something. You can't hear anything?"

Bones shook his head. "Nothing."

Spock blinked at Uhura. "It is communicating?" Spock turned to look at Jim. "It must be sentient."

Uhura nodded. "It's definitely talking to me. I can hear her, in my head."

"Her?" Jim asked. He turned back to the orb with his most winning smile. "Hello. I'm Captain James T. Kirk."

The orb whizzed towards Uhura. Jim frowned. Spock looked thoroughly amused. "It appears the orb would rather be friends with Lieutenant Uhura."

"Uh oh," Uhura said. "I think it's doing something."

Everyone watched the orb quiver and shriek before it exploded into bright rainbows that slowly played with Uhura, making her laugh, before the rainbows shot away into streaks, slipping over everyone else and completely fading away.

Jim looked around the bridge and then sat back down in his chair, tugging his shirt down and crossing his legs.

Spock said, "Captain?"

Jim waved a hand. "I get the feeling we'll find out soon enough."

Spock all but projectile vomited into the container, while Bones sensitively made an eww face. Jim folded his arms across his chest and nodded. "I told you, Spock, there was something funny about those clams."

"Are you still bellyaching about those?" Bones said, shaking his head at Jim.

"They tasted like shoe, Bones," Jim explained as Spock threw up again.

"I don't even want to ask how you would know," Bones said before reaching out and patting Spock on the back. "You done there, soldier?"

Spock nodded slowly, looking pale and exhausted. "I believe the worst has passed."

"What do you think? The clams?" Jim asked seriously.

"God help me, Jim," Bones warned.

"Doctor, I think I will lie down for a moment," Spock said, doing an awful impression of lying down by falling on his side.

Bones frowned at Spock. "Maybe we shouldn't rule out the clams just yet."

"It's all I'm saying, Bones," Jim said, vindicated.

Scotty reached the mess just as Kirk seemed to walk out very quickly, Bones behind him. They both instantly turned towards each other and Bones started getting angry while Kirk seemed slightly more loose and impatient.

"The man said the clams were fresh!" Bones said. "But you couldn't let it go!"

"Bones, three men are in the sickbay right now with all the symptoms of food poisoning. If it wasn't the clams, something else was definitely off."

"Christopher Pike is an idiot," Bones said, shaking his head.

"Hello there. What's this about the clams?" Scotty asked as he neared.

"They're bad, don't eat 'em," Kirk pointed at Scotty.

"Don't listen to him," Bones said. "He's an idiot."

"I'm the captain," Kirk said, affronted.

"I think I pointed out that captains can be idiots just a second ago."

Scotty grinned at them both. "Look at you, it's sweet really. How long have you been together anyway?"

"About four years now," Kirk said with a smile, putting his arm around Bones's waist and pulling him close..

"We are not together. Stop telling people that," Bones said, extracting himself from Jim's grip.

Kirk grinned and cocked a thumb at Bones. "He's just shy. Anyway, how are you Scotty? Any strange symptoms?"

"Yeah, you throwing up at all? Nauseous? Fatigued?"

"Frequent urination?" Kirk added as Bones stared at him.

Scotty frowned at them for a bit and then he got the joke and started laughing. "Yeah yeah, very funny. You got me, I'm pregnant." He laughed some more, but the laughter died away as he fell into thought. "Though I have been getting some odd food cravings."

Kirk and Bones were silent, just staring.

Scotty said, "What?"

Kirk and Bones looked at each other, then at Scotty, and at each other again. Then Bones turned and ran off.

Scotty looked at Kirk, pointing in Bones's direction. "Bad clams?"

"That is most illogical," Spock said with the most stern stony Vulcan face ever. "Vulcan males are incapable of conceiving a child. Not only is your diagnosis illogical, highly improbable but also bordering on the insane."

Jim turned to Bones. "Well, I tried, Bones."

"Maybe next time you'll leave the explanations to me," Bones said.

Jim held up a finger. "Did, or did you not, see his face?"

Bones rolled his eyes and showed Spock the PADD in his hand. "Look, it's right there. There's some kind of pouch, and that? Well, that is not your lunch, Mr. Spock."

Spock was gripping the PADD, staring at the screen. "This does not make sense."

"Neither does this," Nurse Chapel said, joining the group. She looked at Bones. "Doctor. You need to take a look at this."

Bones followed her away from Spock's secluded spot. Jim gave Spock a pat on the back and followed, only to see Chekov, Sulu, Smith, Jones and Elfeugo.

"What's going on here?" Jim said, with his best captain voice.

Bones turned to look at him, obviously quite unnerved. "They're pregnant, Jim."

"So," Jim said, "All the men working on the bridge three days ago are pregnant." Bones nodded slowly from the end of the briefing table."Okay," Jim said nodding, and then just kind of drifting away until Uhura coughed and brought him back to reality. Jim shook his head and said, "I got nothing here. Bones?"

"How did this happen?" Sulu asked, shaking his head, still in shock.

"Oh I got a vague idea," Bones said, looking pretty disgruntled. "That damn ball of light is how it happened."

"We got knocked up by a ball of light?" Jim said "Didn't see that coming."

"That's not all."

"I was afraid you were going to say that," Jim said.

"The men have two things in common right now," Bones said. "One, they're pregnant. Two, samples of the amniotic fluid showed a match in our DNA banks."

Jim leaned forwards. "Well, who is it?"

"Well, it's not my first guess, that's for sure," Bones muttered, earning the skunk eye from Jim. "It's Lieutenant Uhura."

"What?" Both Uhura and Jim exclaimed.

"I ran the diagnostic three times," Bones said. "You're the baby's mother. Father. Mother and father. Hell... you knocked us all up, okay?"

Jim frowned and swiveled in his seat to stare at Uhura. "On one hand, we'd have incredibly attractive and healthy children. On the other, what the hell, Uhura?"

"I didn't do anything!" Uhura protested.

Jim pointed at his as yet flat belly. "This? This is not nothing, Lieutenant."

Uhura slumped back in her chair. "You're crazy."

"Crazy pregnant," Jim muttered.

"I will name him after my father," Chekov said, smiling at his stomach.

Everybody hated on him for a bit.

The unfair thing was (at least from the perspective of those on board the Enterprise who had been pregnant in the past), there wasn't much belly swelling, but more like a strange series of raised domes that curled from belly to spine and had everyone petrified of gut worm.

"I felt it move," Jim said one night, waking Bones from his sleep. "I think it's eating my liver."

"Hey, you're not the only one who's knocked up here," Bones grumbled, prodding Jim to be sure. He sighed and said, "Jim, the kid's on the other side."

"Oh. Sorry. I think I was sleeping on your elbow." Jim was silent for a while. "What if we grow breasts?"

Bones grabbed Jim and pulled him down. "Our kids are going to be so messed up."

Not everyone was handling pregnancy so well.

"Spock, please, come out," Uhura said gently, standing on the other side of the bathroom.

"I am fine," Spock answered, voice shaky.

"Spock--"

"I do not wish for you to see me like this," Spock called back, sounding horribly lost.

Uhura lay her hand flat against the door. "Spock. These emotions your feeling... it can't be easy. But we'll get through this. Together. Please let me in."

For a moment it looked as though the door might not open, but then it slid aside and Spock stood there with still face and sad eyes.

Uhura went to him, wrapping him in her arms, relieved when his arms came around her.

"I did not anticipate how the simple movement of an unborn child would make me... feel," he said absently.

Uhura swallowed down the strange weak feeling in her throat. She smiled. "Was it good?"

Spock closed his eyes and hid his face in her shoulder. "Yes," he whispered and it sounded like heartbreak.

Sulu sat between Nurse Myers and Nurse Michaels, one of them spoon feeding him ice cream, the other one stroking his hair.

He didn't understand why women got so cranky when they were pregnant.

Chekov stood looking in the mirror, frowning at the bumps. He picked up a pen and started drawing around them. Circle, circle, smaller circle, smaller circle, two circles in a circle, half moon, strokes and--

He breathed in and out until the drawn on caterpillar started move in and out, grinning as he did so.

He was seventeen, what the hell else was he supposed to do?

"Captain Kirk," Pike said with a pleased smile. "How are you and that fine ship doing?"

"We're doing good, Sir," Kirk replied. Boy that kid had cleaned up well. "All's well on Earth, I hope."

Pike nodded. "Everything's good here. I just thought I'd check and see how the brightest and best are getting on." Kirk smiled as Pike frowned. "Captain? Is that Doctor McCoy?"

Kirk turned his head and the man who had been walking through Kirk's quarters stopped as if dazzled by headlights before suddenly falling out of view altogether. Kirk turned back with a slightly different smile.

"That... yes, that's Doctor McCoy. He dropped his tricorder."

"Why is he not wearing a shirt?"

"He dropped that too, listen it's been good talking, but I think we're about to go through a wormho--"

The screen went black. Pike shook his head and called himself an idiot.

Since the rule of what goes in eventually must come out applied almost everywhere in the universe, the pregnancies had to come to an end. Bones was cranky all the time. Jim was eating like no tomorrow. Spock was in overtime with controlling his emotions and thus became logical to the degree of not being logical at all. Chekov was finally in shock about being pregnant and Sulu had never dated so many women in his life.

Uhura on the other hand had quite the swagger when she was with her friends. It wasn't every day you got to impregnate a bunch of guys because you were tickled by a ball of light. Scotty on the other hand had taken to ignoring the pregnants as he always seem to catch them at a bad moment. He'd had Spock nerve pinch him at least four times and Bones had hypo'd him about three times. Jim kept making sad faces, which made Scotty have sad faces and Sulu, bloody hell that gland of a boy was becoming annoying.

Chekov was still cool though. It appeared that seventeen year olds had quite the knack for dealing with unexpected pregnancy. Even in this day and age.

Delivery day came. Chekov walked into the sickbay and lifted his shirt to show all the raised skin had become a bright blue. And as Bones began to ask questions, Sulu walked in too.

"Damn," Bones had said. "Does it hur--!" And he was doubling over because yes, as a matter of fact, it hurt."Forget it. Don't answer that. Christine!"

Chapel came over in a hurry, her hands steadying Bones. "Doctor?"

Bones lifted his shirt and exposed his side to Chapel. She gasped and looked at him in worry, but he gave her a nod and said, "Round them up. Uhura too."

"No need, I'm here," Uhura said, helping Spock to a biobed. "Do we have any idea how this going to happen? Because I'm pretty sure Spock can't do this the natural way."

Bones gave her an incredulous look. "First question. How the hell do orbs of light give birth?" Then he pointed at Chekov, who was looking on with startled wide eyes. "You, on that bed." Then to Sulu. "You too, over there. Christine, I need you to get the other four down here."

Spock shuddered on the bed next to Chekov's, eyes closed and face sweaty. "Looks like Spock's going first on this one," Bones said, grimacing and reaching for his tricorder.

"Doctor, no," Chapel said, snatching it from him. "You need to lie down too." She pushed Bones back onto the bed on the other side of Spock's and ran off to gather the team Bones had assigned to this beautiful event.

Meanwhile, Spock curled in on himself and gasped and Uhura grabbed his hand. "Spock? Tell me what's happening."

"I believe... the child is making it's way out," Spock gasped between breaths before letting out a blood curdling scream, which made Bones stand up. He pulled back Spock's shirt and he saw something was straining against the skin and muscle of Spock's torso, pushing, pushing until finally it clean came through the skin without a single tear. Instead, the blue skin seemed to glisten for a moment before it turned into what looked like a burn, leaving Spock semi-conscious and limp.

Everyone looked at the child, the thing, whatever it was. Like a bubble filled with smoke, only the surface seemed to quiver and extend, like a child waving its hands and little feet. Within the smoke there almost seemed to be shapes, the same as Uhura's eyes, blinking with laughter and floating in the air, sounds emanating from the shape, like the gurgles of a human child.

Bones and Uhura just stared, while Chekov appeared to have passed out completely and Sulu was looking on in horror. Bones looked at Chekov, feeling the sting and slow burn in his skin. "Lucky bastard."

He started for the doors, Uhura calling out, "Leonard, where are you going?"

"I'm going to Jim," Bones said

Uhura shook her head. "You should be here. The Captain'll known what's going on by now."

Bones nodded. "Fine. You go get him. I'll stay here." Uhura said nothing, but her hand tightened around Spock's. Bones nodded. "Yeah. Me too."

Bones quickly left before anyone could stop him. He passed Smith, Jones and Elfeugo on the way, pointing them to the sickbay and to be quick about it.

Maybe Jim didn't know what was happening. He could be in his quarters, pretending to enjoy his enforced downtime. He'd be sitting there trying to measure the pain on some stupid Kirk scale, no idea of pain being that thing when it hurts, not that thing you learn to live with until it goes away.

The door to Jim's quarters opened and it appeared Jim was on the way out just as Bones reached him. Jim looked flushed, sweaty and his hand was pressed to his side.

"Hey, honey, I think we're about to be become daddies," he said flatly. Then he frowned and looked at Bones who was in a similar state. Bones saw the instant flare of anger. "You're an idiot, Bones."

"Well, I wasn't about to leave you here to do this on your own," Bones said as they both started moving towards the turbolift.

"You're the CMO, Doctor," Jim grated out. "You don't need to be up here holding you're boyfriend's hand. And in the event that you're compromised, as you are right now, you should be getting yourself attended to in sickbay so I don't have to find a new damn doctor. "

"And in case you've forgotten, one of my main priorities is your health, Captain," Bones said. "Besides. Dying from having a bubble burn its way out of your side is a damn stupid way to die."

Jim made a face. "Yeah. How is Spock?"

Bones made a face back. "He's Spock. No telling what the critters are going to do to someone not Vulcan.

"Which is why you should have stayed put, Bones. I was on my way," Jim said.

"Yeah well, I feel better if I can see it for myself," Bones said just before his legs quite suddenly gave out and he crashed to the floor, the world tilting at an angle.

"Bones!" Jim yelled, coming to his side.

After that, there was heat. Lots of heat. His heart was beating so fast he was sure it might explode. And his insides were twisting and knotting like a thick rope. Worst of all, he felt like he could feel the whole weight of the Enterprise pushing down on him until something hissed in his side and then he was burning up, screaming and gladly passing out.

What Uhura saw was all the bubbles coming to her and they all had funny little blinking eyes, shades in the smoke like childish smiles and their quivery thin skin which reached out and touched her face, making tears came to her eyes, she didn't even know why.

They spun about her for a moment, as if they were enraptured and adoring her and then that first one appeared, the one from the bridge.

"Are you leaving?" Uhura asked.

There were no words, but there were emotions coursing through her that she knew weren't her own. They were joyous in part, but also sad.

Uhura looked at the children. "Are they really ours?"

The answer again was twofold. In some ways they were and in some ways they really could never be. Uhura nodded and the beings spun around her until she felt their affection and sorrow bloom in her chest and suddenly they were gone.

Uhura went to Spock and stood by his side. She wouldn't even try to imagine the things he must have tried not to feel.

Jim heard first of all cursing and then tripping over and then finally a sigh before the bed dipped and Bones slid between the sheets, going straight for draping himself across Jim, kissing the spot where a scar had recently healed and almost vanished. Jim moved further down in the bed and put an arm around Bones' shoulders, his other one tangling with the hand on his stomach.

"In a way," Jim said thoughtfully. "It's kind of like Uhura and I had sex." Bones barked for the lights and sat up. He glared at Jim who was shameless enough to lie there grinning. "What? I said 'kind of'."

"What, you mean like the kind of imaginary sex we'll be having from now on?" McCoy asked.

Jim sat up and bumped a kiss against the wounded twist of Bones's mouth, pulling back slowly and smiling up.

"Bastard," Bones said, before pushing Jim back and not having any kind of imaginary sex at all.

Uhura was trying to work out if Spock was Spock quiet or new kind of Spock quiet. Sometimes it was hard to tell if there were levels at all. Sometimes it felt like she was crazy, but then suddenly Spock did something endearingly Spockish and crazy felt good.

She was lying next to Spock in bed, curled up by his side, his arm around her shoulders, his hand holding her's on the center of his chest, his gaze somewhere above him as he contemplated who knew what. Uhura couldn't help extract her hand from him, which instantly had his attention. His face immediately turned towards her, but then her hand was smoothing down from his chest, down his stomach, rubbing gentle circles.

"What--?" he whispered.

"Shhhh," Uhura said. "I just... I just want to... do this."

And she continued feeling the smoothness of his stomach, smiling when she felt his hitch of breath, the tremor of his muscles. And then his skin was too smooth, all the way around his waist, where the burn had been and Spock was holding her wrist.

"Where are you keeping all of those feelings, Spock?" Uhura asked, pressing a kiss to his bare shoulder.

"Somewhere safe," Spock whispered, moving her hand to his hip and letting go so he could caress her face instead.

Uhura nodded and whispered, "Okay."

And when Spock whispered, "Nyota," ghosting the name across her mouth, she smiled and covered his body with hers.

Some weeks earlier...

Scotty knocked back the Scotch and stared at the tribble skin that had been shed weeks ago. It looked odd and shriveled now, not the furry little thing Scotty had first encountered. Every now and then, it quivered, like a last burp until finally, it just closed up in on itself and suddenly went pop, until it was a round shining bubble that went 'wheeeeeeeeee!' across engineering and disappeared.

Scotty nodded, raising his glass. "Did not know it could that."

- the end -